Discord Safety Guide for Parents: Managing Servers and DMs in 2026

Discord Safety Guide for Parents: Managing Servers and DMs in 2026

“Mom, it’s just Discord, everyone at school uses it.” Two hours later, you walk past the room and hear a stranger’s voice coming out of your child’s headset, and your stomach drops. Who are they talking to? What server are they on? What is going on in those private DMs?

If that feels a bit too familiar, you are not alone. Discord is where a lot of kids hang out now, especially around gaming, anime, music, and school friend groups. It can be an amazing place to connect, but without some guardrails it can also expose kids to strangers, explicit content, and drama that you never see.

This guide will walk you, step by step, through how Discord works in 2026, what you should worry about, and what you can actually do, both inside Discord and with tools like Avosmart, to keep your child safer.

• Understand how Discord servers, channels, and DMs really work for teens.
• Use Discord’s 2026 safety tools, including Family Center and updated privacy settings.
• Set clear family rules for servers, DMs, and voice chats, not just “be careful”.
• Combine Discord settings with tools like Social Media Monitoring and a smart Screen Time App to actually see what is going on.

How Discord Actually Works For Kids In 2026

Servers, channels, and DMs in plain language

Think of Discord like a huge collection of group chats, each one called a “server”. Inside each server there are different “channels” for specific topics, such as memes, homework help, or a particular game. Some servers are private and invite only, often just a friend group. Others are public, with thousands or hundreds of thousands of people.

Here is the part many parents miss. Once your child is inside a server, anyone in that server can often message them privately, unless their settings are locked down. That is where problems often start: private DMs from strangers that you never see.

Why parents worry about Discord

Most parent concerns about Discord tend to fall into a few buckets:

• Strangers contacting your child. People can send friend requests, DMs, or join the same voice channels as your child. Some are just kids playing games, others are adults who should not be talking to your child at all.
• Inappropriate content inside servers. Public and even some “friends of friends” servers can contain explicit language, sexual content, violence, self-harm talk, or hate speech.
• Private DMs that “disappear” from your view. Kids might get pressured to send photos, share personal info, or join new servers through DMs. You rarely see this by just glancing at Discord on the screen.
• Voice chats that feel like unmoderated party lines. Voice channels can move very quickly: arguments, bullying, or nasty jokes can come and go in seconds.
• Late-night usage and addiction. Because Discord is social and live, kids feel they “can’t leave the call” or “will miss something”. So bedtime slips later and later.

Individually, each of these can be managed. Combined, they create a digital environment that needs real adult supervision, not just “trust me, Mom”.

What changed on Discord by 2026: Family Center and more

Discord has been under pressure to make the platform safer for teens, so in 2026 the Family Center features are more visible and more useful. When your teen connects with you through Family Center, you can see:

• The top five people they message and call.
• The servers they message in most frequently.
• Their total call minutes in voice and video.
• Purchases they have made inside Discord.

You do not see full message content in Family Center. Think of it more like a summary of activity, not a full transcript. That is why it helps to combine Family Center with outside tools like Social Media Monitoring from Avosmart, so you get a broader picture of their overall online behavior.

The age rule and what it means for you

Discord’s own rule is clear: users must be at least 13 years old and meet the minimum age required by the laws of their country. The service is not designed for children under 13. In practice, plenty of younger kids create accounts anyway by lying about their age. If your child is under 13 and using Discord, you basically have three choices:

• Help them delete the account and move them to more age-appropriate platforms.
• Lock it down very tightly, use it together, and treat it like a shared account.
• Ignore it and hope for the best, which is what many parents later regret.

Even for 13 to 15 year olds, Discord is not “set and forget”. It needs rules, monitoring, and check-ins, the same way you would handle a party at someone’s house. You would not just drop your kid off with a bunch of random adults and drive away. The same principle applies here.

Red flags to watch for in Discord behavior

Here are some signs that Discord might be going off the rails for your child:

• They quickly hide the screen or take off their headset when you walk into the room.
• They suddenly join a lot of new servers you have never heard of.
• They receive frequent friend requests from people you both do not know.
• You notice mood swings after long Discord sessions, especially after voice calls.
• They start using new slang or edgy jokes, and cannot really explain where it came from.
• Bedtime arguments start sounding like “But my friends are still in the call. I can’t leave.”

If you see two or more of these, it is time for a calm reset: new rules, new settings, and some tech help to back you up.

Practical Safety Steps: Servers, DMs, and Avosmart Working Together

Step 1: Sit down together and review servers

Start in the least techy way possible. Sit next to your child and say something like, “Show me which servers you actually like being in and which ones you do not really care about.” Then go through this list together:

• Keep small friend-group servers you know and trust, especially if they know each other from school or family.
• Review carefully large gaming or fandom servers. Who runs them? Are there rules and visible moderators? Is there any age rating in the description?
• Leave servers that are clearly for adults, have sexual titles or images, or are centered on self-harm, drugs, or explicit role-play.

This is the moment to explain your values, not just safety. For example: “If a server treats racist jokes like a big laugh, that is not our standard. We are not staying.”

Step 2: Lock down DM settings and friend requests

Inside Discord, there are a few key settings that dramatically cut risk. With your child:

• Go to User Settings then Privacy & Safety.
• Turn off the option that allows “direct messages from server members” for any servers that are not close friends.
• Set “Who can add you as a friend” to Friends of Friends or even Server Members only on safe servers you both agree on. Avoid “Everyone”.
• Turn on filters to “keep me safe” so Discord scans and hides harmful content in DMs when possible.

Explain it like this: “We are not stopping you from talking to your real friends. We are blocking the random weirdos from slipping into your messages.” That distinction matters to kids.

Step 3: Use Discord’s Family Center, but know its limits

Set up Family Center with your teen if they are 13 or older. It will give you:

• An overview of who they talk to most often.
• Which servers they are most active in.
• How much time they spend in calls.
• A list of their purchases.

Use this info for conversations, not interrogations. You might say, “I see you are on calls with this one person a lot. Who is that?” or “This server is new and you are very active there. Tell me about it.”

Since Family Center does not show message content, pair it with a tool that looks at the bigger digital picture. Avosmart’s Reports and Statistics let you see when Discord is used, for how long, and alongside which other apps and sites. If you see late-night Discord plus spikes in TikTok right after, that is a quiet warning sign worth discussing.

Step 4: Control time and place, not just “yes or no”

Discord is social, so shut it off completely and you might trigger a war. A better approach is to control time and place:

• Set Discord hours. For example, allowed after homework and before 9 pm on school nights, and a bit more relaxed on weekends.
• Shared space for younger teens. Require Discord to be used in the living room or with the door open so you can casually listen.
• No Discord in bed. Phones and laptops charge overnight in the kitchen or living room.

Here is where tech support helps. Avosmart’s Screen Time App lets you set limits on app usage, so even if your child “forgets”, Discord will simply stop working at a certain time. With Website Access Time Control, you can also limit Discord’s web version so they cannot sneak around through the browser.

Step 5: Block adult content and problem websites around Discord

Discord links out to websites, YouTube, and sometimes porn sites or extreme communities. You might be comfortable with a small friends-only server, but not with the external links flying around.

Use Avosmart’s Website Filtering to block entire categories, such as adult content, gambling, graphic violence, and drugs. That way, even if someone drops a bad link in a chat, your child’s device simply will not open it.

If your child also watches a lot of gaming or Discord-related content on YouTube, Avosmart’s YouTube Monitoring can help you see what channels and videos they are drawn to and block specific channels that normalize toxic behavior, harassment, or risky stunts.

Step 6: Consider blocking or restricting the Discord app entirely for younger kids

For kids close to the 13 line, or for kids who already made poor choices on Discord, it may be reasonable to block or heavily restrict the app for a season.

With Avosmart’s App Blocker you can:

• Block the Discord app on Android or Windows devices entirely.
• Allow Discord only at certain times of day.
• Prevent your child from installing Discord again without your approval.

This is not about punishment. You can frame it like: “Right now Discord is more stress than fun for you, so we are taking a break and we will revisit later.”

Step 7: Ongoing conversations that do not kill trust

All the settings in the world will fail if your child hides everything from you. So mix safety rules with relationship rules:

• Tell them you will sometimes spot check who they chat with, not to spy, but to keep them safe.
• Make it clear they will not be in trouble for telling you about something uncomfortable that happened on Discord.
• Agree on “non-negotiables”, such as never sharing real name, school name, address, or private photos with online-only friends.

A simple phrase that helps: “My job is to keep you safe, your job is to be honest with me. If we both do our jobs, you get more freedom over time.”

One Last Check-in Before You Log Off

If you are feeling a bit overwhelmed, that is normal. Discord is essentially the group chat, the phone call, and the party, all combined into one app that fits in your child’s pocket. No parent can manage that perfectly by instinct alone.

Start small. This week, you might:

• Ask your child to walk you through their servers and leave the sketchy ones together.
• Turn off DMs from public servers and tighten friend request settings.
• Set a bedtime rule for devices and let Avosmart’s tools handle the arguments for you.

You do not have to be a tech expert to protect your child. You just need a few clear rules, some honest conversations, and the right tools watching your back. If Discord has been stressing you out, you are allowed to take control again. Your kid might complain at first, but deep down, they sleep better when they know someone is actually in charge.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the new parental controls on Discord?

Discord’s updated parental controls center around Family Center. When your teen links their account to yours, you can see their top five contacts, the servers where they send the most messages, how many minutes they spend in voice and video calls, and all purchases on their account. You still cannot read the actual messages, but you get a clear activity summary so you know who they interact with most and how intense their usage really is.

What is the 13 rule on Discord?

The 13 rule means Discord accounts are only for people who are at least 13 years old and meet any higher minimum age required by their country’s laws. The service is not designed for kids under 13, and if a younger child has an account, they technically are not allowed to use it at all. As a parent or guardian, you are responsible for helping younger kids delete or stop using Discord, or for tightly supervising older teens who are just over that age line.

What are the parent concerns of Discord?

Parents are mainly worried about inappropriate content, contact with strangers, and harassment. Many servers are not well moderated, so kids can run into explicit language, pornographic images, violent content, or discussions about self-harm and drugs. On top of that, strangers can try to move conversations into private DMs or voice chats where pressure, grooming, or bullying are harder for parents to spot. This is why clear rules, strong privacy settings, and outside tools to limit time and content matter so much.